Til Death Do Us Cringe: The Most Awkward Wedding Moments

41. Finance Jar

My sister wanted to do the “dollar dance” at her wedding. For those who don’t know, it’s a Midwest tradition where male guests pay a few dollars for a dance with the bride (which is cringey in itself). I guess bringing wedding gifts isn’t enough or whatever. I was maid of honor and was supposed to collect the cash from the guys in line before what was supposed to be a 5-second “dance” with the bride. I had my “cash collection bucket” and the first guy in line looked at me deadpan and says “I’m giving this to her myself” (like I’m going to steal it, wtf?). So he hands a few dollars to my sister (the bride) and she has to awkwardly hold it while dancing with all the other guys in line who were then really confused, so some gave money to me and some gave it directly to the bride. Plus it went on like 20 agonizing minutes because some people didn’t know how long they were supposed to “dance” for. Super cringey all around.

reddituser

42. Everything is sparkling

Partner and I went to the wedding of some of her friends and it was at a nice venue outdoors. Good weather and clear skies, but it was a bit windy. The bride and groom did this little bit in the middle of the ceremony where they poured different colored sands into a little glass container to show the mixing of their lives? Except since it was windy the sand was blowing everywhere. And it was glittery, so people were blowing it out of their faces but still getting covered in this fine dusting. Also instead of each of them having a big jar each of their color of sand, they each had a BUNCH of teeny vials, so the little ceremony took way longer than it should have. Super awkward, and once they had emptied all these little vials you still could hardly see the sand in the glass container. Really weird.

43. Defies All Logic

My wife was roped into being a bridesmaid for an old friend that was getting married. She didn’t want to be at the wedding but felt obligated and knew the bride wouldn’t have any other friends to ask if my wife declined. The wedding was out of town so I was with her during the pre-wedding festivities and getting everything ready the day of. Since I was there I offered to help with what I could. That was taken full advantage of. I’ve never done so much in so little time in my life. Nothing was planned out. The bride was literally bridezilla and complained about different things all day. The groom was a goofy redneck dude that was useless when it came to helping. I honestly barely saw him all day. Several hours before the wedding the bride realized no one had gotten lunch so the groom came up to me and asked if I could go get everyone Chick-fil-A. Sure, I can do that. Not sure why a groomsman can’t go but whatever, it’ll give me an excuse to leave. I came back with what they asked for and didn’t get a “thank you” (which I didn’t expect) and didn’t get reimbursed. Whatever. The bride had several meltdowns throughout the day and even said she didn’t want to go through with it but changed her mind minutes before the ceremony. The refreshments at the reception were literally popcorn balls, skittles, and punch. I wish I was joking. Once everything wrapped up we were roped into completely cleaning up the church it was held at. Vacuuming, mopping, cleaning bathrooms, etc. We were preparing to leave when the groom asked me to take all of the audio equipment back to the person he had borrowed it from since I didn’t live too far from him. Ok sure. It barely fit in my car. Keep in mind I barely knew these people. We had never hung out with them and even though my wife had known the bride since college, they weren’t close. It was just an odd day.

44. “Brautverzug”

In Germany, there is a tradition that is called “Brautverzug” which loosely translates to kidnapping the bride. What usually happens is that the best man takes the bride to another room with some close friends of the bride, later the groom has to “search” for them and then to some kind of challenge to get her back, for example drinking some liquor. The most important thing about this is that it has to be entirely planned because you need to prepare the room and the challenge and the bride has to be fine with missing an hour of her wedding.

At the wedding of a friend of mine a super drunk guy, who wasn’t invited but still attended the wedding because he knew both bride and groom walked in during dinner in sweatpants and a stained shirt. At first, everyone was obviously confused, the wedding couple talked to him and he was allowed to stay but he wasn’t allowed to drink any alcohol because he already was drunk.

The evening progresses and suddenly someone asks into the room where the bride is, followed by some jokes about the bride already leaving after just a couple of hours. With some shy laughter, the groom asks the mother of the bride where the bride is, she doesn’t know, so he starts asking around but no one knows it.

Queue 2 hours later, everyone is searching the place for the bride, some people are thinking about calling the police when her mother’s phone rings. It’s the bride calling from a pub in another part of the city, where she semi-violently was taken to by the drunk guy, who thought it was funny to do a “Brautverzug” but didnt think about telling anyone.

And that’s how you do not make friends at a wedding that you’re not supposed to be at in the first place.

Midnightos

45. A Total Game-Changer

I am a musician and about 3 years ago I was part of a wedding band. As the wedding band, we would often have to learn the couple’s first dance. It’s no big deal, part of the job. So this one wedding we had the Mission Impossible theme song as the first dance. I emailed the couple to double-check that this was in fact the song they wanted to have as their first dance as husband and wife and they confirmed.

Who am I to judge? So we go ahead and learn it. Day of the wedding, the bride tells me “At 9.30 pm you guys start playing our first dance, we won’t be on the floor but go ahead and keep playing” ….. Rather unorthodox but hey, it’s her day.

So 9.30 pm comes, we kick off and begin playing the song. We’re about 30 seconds in, and a lot of guests are standing around the dance floor looking rather confused.

Then all of a sudden the husband bursts onto the dance floor wearing a Donald Trump Mask, one of those rubber proper pro type ones, and he has a pistol in his hand. He’s creeping around the floor as if he’s looking for someone.

Then his wife comes running onto the floor wearing a Kim Jong Il mask, of the same professional quality, she also has a pistol. Unable to comprehend what is going on, I spend the next 3 and a half minutes watching them circle the floor playing cops and robbers or some sh*t. In the end, they run into each other’s arms and start kissing each other (with the masks still on).

Then they took off the masks and everyone went about the rest of the night.

Weirdest wedding moment of my musical career

reddituser

46. Until The Very End

For some reason, my cousin begged this religious nut from his and his fiancée’s college to officiate the wedding. He agreed only on the condition that he could include a lecture on the “sanctity of marriage.” Yeah, the man lectured the captive audience for more than thirty minutes on how gay people were threatening the straight way of life, how gay marriage is an insult to God and Christians everywhere, and how this straight marriage reflected the values that straights must fight to protect.

I still can’t believe I stayed for the whole thing.

47. A Shocker

There was this wedding that went great, until the kiss. So a little backstory – the groom had been sick the week before the wedding, fever and pretty out of it. He and his fiancée were trying to decide how physical they should be, as to avoid her coming down with the same. They had decided not to kiss at the wedding and would figure out the rest later. The bride really wanted to kiss and wasn’t worried about getting sick herself, but wanted to defer to her fiancé’s concerns. So the wedding day comes, and the groom’s recovered a lot, and is driving to the wedding and says, “screw it” and tells someone to tell the bride that he’s okay with kissing if she is. Turns out that message didn’t get passed, because at the end of the wedding, he leans in for a kiss, and she’s so surprised she just freezes. There was an awkward silence until his groomsmen let him have it, the laughter and jeers were grand, and he deserved them. The couple laughed it off, although the groom practically turned into a beet. A side note, this was my wedding and I still feel like an idiot. I doubt anyone there will ever let me live it down. Cheers to good friends!

48. So Out of Place

I went to a super conservative wedding with my fiancé. My fiancé had grown up with the bride and were childhood friends, but grew apart. Regardless, she was invited to the wedding and some of her other friends she still kept in touch with were going, so we all went. We were sitting out in the sweltering Virginia humidity in mid-August on cut tree logs, which were laying horizontally across the ground. We got to the end of the vows and they told us that the bride and groom had never kissed, so they wanted to share the moment in private. They went behind a curtain at the altar and then we sat through a painful acoustic set of songs for 15 minutes! The songs ended and we still sat there awkwardly for another 3 minutes the Pastor (who was the groom’s father) tried opening the curtain. He couldn’t open it though because the groom was holding them shut with one hand. Then a minute later they came back out. It was painfully uncomfortable as we all sat there in silence while those two figured out how to play t*ns*l h*ck*y.

49. Goat Spit Roast

Wait wait, I got this.

Aladdin-themed wedding.

The wedding took place in a Shriner temple. Everyone dressed in vaguely Hollywood Arabesque outfits. Groomsmen looked like organ grinder monkeys. The (very white, very Jewish) bride was referred to in the ceremony as ‘the desert princess’ and the (also very white) groom as ‘the wazier of the caliphate’. Between the wedding and reception, we were ‘entertained’ by a (again with the very white) belly dancer – on the same stage as the wedding had taken place. It wasn’t a religious altar, but it felt weird. The reception had as its main course an entire roast goat, head and all. It was presented on a giant platter of rice, all curled up as if it were asleep.. then, you know.. roasted.

We went because I’d gone to high school and played D&D with the groom and my husband worked with the bride. My achievement unlocks for the day was not bursting into laughter once.

50. Wealthier or Wealthier

Bride, at the altar, refused to say “For richer or poorer” in her vows.

She literally said, “For richer or richer,” beaming this huge defiant smile. People chuckled, then waited, and she just stood there smiling. Refused to correct herself.

People fell silent as they realized she was essentially saying, “I’ll only stay with you for as long as you have money. Any hardship and I’m out.”

The groom should’ve run then, but didn’t.

Iscariot-