3. Nothing to Worry About
I was heading out to a work event and my old girlfriend was joking around and said something like “you’re not allowed to kiss any girls unless they’re uglier than me”. Without missing a beat and extremely confidently I quipped, “well, baby, then you got nothing to worry about” and slammed the door behind me thinking I just said something romantically corny. My brain, for whatever reason, processed what she said as ‘you can’t kiss anyone prettier than me’. I immediately realized what I said and rushed back into the room she was stunned in the same spot she was in when I closed the door with her mouth wide open. We almost fell over laughing. Even though the comeback wasn’t intended to be a comeback I felt pretty clever after saying it.