The Sweet Taste of Victory: Top “You Have No Power Here” Moments

CR Staff - JU - May 17, 2023

“You’re not special”

I work in a warehouse pharmacy. The company rents the building. The roof was sh*t a few years ago. One day, I’m going into the employee entrance and I hear “Hey, HEY!” I turn and see a man I don’t know. He says “Hold the door for me, ill be right back.”

I say “Okay” and when he turns and walks away, I went inside and shut the door.

Apparently, that guy is the building owner and he was there to supervise roof fixes. Fast forward 2 hours and again, I hear “HEY!”

I turn to him and the pudgy little man walks up to me and says “I thought I told you to hold the door.”

I say “I don’t know you, man.”

He says “I own the building son.”

“Oh, that’s cool. Well, this is a pharmacy. I don’t know you. You go through the front door like everyone else. You’re not special.”

To which he lost his sh*t and hilariously tried to get me fired.

d3k3d

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A Poolside Know-It-All

I went to a swim meet, and everyone should know by this point that in the “Freestyle” events, you can do anything as long as you get from one end of the pool to the other as long as you apply the universal rules of swimming.

I was speaking to a friend and he pointed out that a girl was swimming breaststroke during a freestyle event. I replied “Well this is freestyle after all. You can literally do anything” and a lady sitting near me goes “Actually, that’s wrong. Freestyle is this” and motioned to do the front crawl. I say, “No, that’s not right necessarily.” And she goes, “Have you ever even been to an event like this.”

I look out at the pool, then look back at her and I say, “Lady, I’ve been swimming longer than your kid has been alive. Don’t try to tell me how my sport works”. I then proceeded to continue my conversation with my friend.

My proudest moment, although I’m not a swimmer anymore.

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