32. The Struggle for Better Stuff
She thought I always had to have better “stuff” than her. It wasn’t even about stuff I actually bought or anything, just stuff I’d mention I wanted to eventually buy myself later once I’d saved up.
First, it was vehicles. We were in college, and both had crappy > 10-year-old cars, hers may have been a couple of years older, but it’s been so long that I’m not sure about that. I wanted a newer one, but couldn’t afford it, so it was just wishful thinking. “That car’s awesome, wish I had one like that” sort of thing. She bought a new car just before she broke up with me, I bought one a couple of years later when I could afford it as I’d planned.
Then it was an iPod. I wanted one, but couldn’t afford it and class, so it was put on the back burner as a “someday” purchase. She got one for Christmas and loved it. I said it was great, but made the mistake of saying when I eventually get one, I’d need one with more space to fit all my music. Her translation was that I had to get an iPod that was better than hers. I never owned an iPod or any similar portable music player during the time we dated.
The other one I can think of off the top of my head was cell phones. She had an uncanny knack for breaking her phone every few months and buying a newer one, so they were rarely more than 6 months or so old, and she always bought pretty decent phones. I had an old cell phone that was a couple of years old before we started dating. My phone worked but didn’t have any fancy features, so again, I thought a newer one that could do more than calls and texts would be great. She translated that as me needing a better phone than her. I did get a new phone but not until a year or so after we broke up because I changed carriers.
I still don’t understand it, but apparently, it was very important to her that I not want things that were “better” than hers.