22. The Cake that Ended a Marriage
My ex-wife and I had moved house a few months before her birthday. She packed the old kitchen and unpacked the new one and apparently emptied my tin of bday cake stuff (candles, cake decorations, lighter) into the bin before we moved. I knew the tin was in the pantry, I just didn’t know she’d emptied it.
I spent most of that afternoon making a nice dinner for her as well as making her birthday cake, its icing, etc. When dinner was done and the time to serve cake rolled up, I grabbed out my tin and discovered what had happened. By that point it was too late to pop out and buy candles: the shops were shut. I pressed on, singing happy birthday as I presented her candleless cake.
You know, the cake that I had made?
She glared at it like it was a literal turd on the table and spat “Are you serious? Is this it?” at me before shoving the cake across the table at me. She exploded in my face, roaring at me that it was a piece of sh*t, that I was a piece of sh*t for not having candles, how I ruined her birthday, etc. I was absolutely gobsmacked.
She continued raging at me for nearly 20 minutes; poking the cake with her finger, pushing it back at me a few times, emasculating me, etc before she finally demanded I ‘have something to say for myself.’ I was broken, and nearly whispered “but I made this. For you!”
“What, you made a pile of worthless sh*t, do you want a medal?!”
I had to sleep in the spare room for the rest of that week. She continued to rage at me for nearly 3 weeks and said she was “shelving the issue because it bothered her too much”, but I wasn’t allowed to think for one second that she’d forgiven me for my b*llsh*t. She said she never would.
This damaged our relationship beyond repair. My mental state was shot and I just rolled along with the hatred and abuse she subjected me to over the candleless cake for the next 3 months after that: she called for divorce at that point and moved out.
She came for a surprise visit for my birthday a few months later: she made sure to make a point of not bringing a cake with her after my pathetic performance on her last birthday. I didn’t deserve it, apparently.