17. The Worst Date
He turned up drunk and brought pictures of his time in Iraq in the army with him, which he took me through painfully slowly, one by one. I politely excused myself to go for a cigarette and he lost it – accused me of being rude, shouting about how no wonder I was single, and then sat on my coat so I couldn’t run away – saying that even if I did leave, he would follow me and make me sorry. He also goes on a rant about how all graduates are entitled d*ckheads, he doesn’t agree with women going to uni, and that I’m a middle-class c*nt. He had insisted on paying for my drink, so when I came back in I said I wanted to go, and he insisted that I OWE HIM a drink, ‘cos he was going up Camden to meet his mates and didn’t want to be behind on the drinks front. Fine, whatever, he’s CLEARLY insane, I’ll just buy him one to shut him up then I can leave. At the bar, he begins throwing ice at the barmaid when her back is turned, then when she turns around accusingly, points at me and says ‘she did it’. The barmaid and I both know that it was him. After he has his pint in his hand he goes back to the table, and I confess to said barmaid that I’m on the worst date of my life and want to run away. She pours me a shot of tequila, tells the bouncer to distract him, then helped me run away, as he banged on the window and shouted ‘I’ll find you’.
Ran home, sobbing like a lunatic.