In-Flight Insanity: Insider Stories From Pilots And Flight Attendants

The Danger of Flying Pretzels

My mother got me a flight lesson for my birthday one year. It was at a small private airfield, and we were in a Cessna Skyhawk, don’t remember the number. It was the instructor and I in front, and my mother in the backseat. We did a few touch-n-go, and some basic skills stuff, and then we were just chatting and enjoying the ride heading back to the home airport. It was very relaxed and I commented how unexpectedly easy it is to fly a plane. The instructor had a bag of pretzels, which he then proceeded to start choking on. My mother became a basketcase and was trying to Heimlich him from the back, which was ridiculously ineffective. I was basically leaning over and punching him in the back and the plane was descending rapidly. He got the thing down finally as we were on the verge of stalling. Never took another lesson, and I fly as little as possible now.

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Keeping Passengers Safe

I’m a Flight Attendant on small 50-passenger planes (CRJ100/200’s). When there were about 40 minutes left in the flight, I get a call from the flight deck that they have an indicator reading that my passenger door is not locked. So I double check the physical deadbolt indicators on the door and two out of the eight indicators were a little misaligned. So to be safe, I stopped service and sat down for the rest of the flight, directly next to the door praying that it was an issue with the indicator-up in the flight deck. I’m sure that my face was flushed for a little bit.

For the rest of the 40-minute flight, I was cracking down on every person that attempted to stand up and every seatbelt that I heard being undone. I didn’t want any unlucky people being sucked out if the door happened to suddenly fly open.

People started getting annoyed and started asking questions about why the seatbelt sign has been on for so long, and I just told them that the pilots think there might be some major turbulence soon. Thankfully all was well and we landed with no issues. A few people getting off the plane were telling me how terrible the experience was and how badly they had to go to the bathroom and I wouldn’t let them. If only they knew… C’est la vie

Drunk Pilot Makes A Run For It

Dated a flight attendant for many years here’s the craziest story I’ve heard from her or her friends:

The pilot showed up drunk to work for a long redeye. Only a newer gate agent noticed and she called whoever you call in that situation but didn’t alert any of the rest of the flight crew because she was very new.

During the flight, the flight attendant that heard the call was telling the rest of the flight attendants what she heard and they were sort of speculating on whether the guy was drunk or not because he was a known heavy drinker off hours.

Somehow the pilot overheard that conversation while he was in the restroom or something, so he realized people on the ground and some of his crew suspected him but he was already in the air.

When the plane landed, the gate agents had finally gotten ahold of whoever you get ahold of in that situation and there were supposed to be people from the company waiting at the arrival gate to breathalyze him. But again, since it was late at night, they didn’t get there right when the plane and he’d flown like h*ll to beat the arrival time. They figured they had a little extra time while the plane deboarded and they wouldn’t have to confront him in front of passengers and alert all the passengers their pilot might have been drunk.

The second he reaches the gate and the door opens he just bolts from the airplane. Left his bags, left all his stuff in the cockpit, and just sprints through the airport for the nearest exit. This airport is small enough and laid out in a way he was able to make it just out into night free and clear on foot before anyone realized what he was doing.

He shows up 2 days later for his next scheduled flight and acts like nothing had happened but of course this time there’s a sh*t-load of people from the company waiting for him.

He claimed he had horrible food poisoning and had to rush off the plane to take an emergency sh*t. Claimed he forgot his luggage on the plane because he was so sick. Claimed he didn’t stay at the crew hotel because he had a personal friend in the city and stayed with them.

They tried to pressure him every which way to admit it, but in the end, he just got away with it. The dude still flies to this day (but by all accounts sober now).

Rushing to Fly

I’m a bush pilot in Canada. I was working the right seat of a Turbo Otter, my first ever flight in one so I was still getting used to the setup. We were taking off from a short strip in the middle of nowhere with 6 drillers in the back and a bunch of gear. Captain started the engine as I was just finishing up the passenger briefing. He started rolling down the runway as I was just getting seated. I thought he was just positioning the plane to prepare for takeoff, but then he gave it full throttle. I didn’t even have my seat belt or headset on yet. I’m focusing on getting this stuff on when I realize something isn’t right. Getting closer to the end of the strip, the captain starts to panic as we aren’t getting airborne (his hands were shaking like mad and he kept reaching for things but he couldn’t figure out what was wrong, I think he was too busy looking at the trees and creek right ahead of us). I realized the problem, he was in such a rush to leave that he didn’t do a pre-takeoff check. Propeller was still in a full course (feathered on shut down), it should have been fully fine for takeoff. I yelled/gestured to him the problem and immediately pushed the prop forward, engine had a huge surge and we just barely cleared the trees at the end of the strip. He acted like nothing happened for the rest of the flight. We didn’t even speak a single word to each other. I suspect none of the passengers even realized what had happened and how close we were to be another statistic. When we got back to the airport I told him I was leaving, packed my bags and never looked back.

Paranoia Takes Flight

Flight attendant here. Quick one-hour flight, we board, uneventful. We get in the air and this guy is paranoid. Edge of his seat, looking around. He’s either on something or is a schizophrenic who didn’t take his meds. We (the crew) are doing our service thing, but watching this guy. He calls me over several times, points out a different passenger each time and mumbles about them being “up to something.” I assure the guy everything is fine, make small talk with him, and try to land without incident. He keeps up the paranoia, this time grabbing a young girl who is trying to walk past him to go to the lav. Now he has to be supervised nonstop since grabbing a teenage girl is a no-no. The Captain has been filled in that we’re keeping an eye on this guy, and it’s getting close to landing time. Just prior to touching down, he jumps up and rushes to the exit. Me and another passenger, an off-duty pilot who is quite buff, rush over to what we assume is a guy trying to pop the exit doors. All the passengers who have been watching the shenanigans go into f*ck this sh*t mode, and physically restrain the guy, while the plane is landing and taxiing. Meanwhile, the guy is yelling about some other passenger having a gun. We get to the gate, cops come on, and the guy attacks a cop and tries to flee across the tarmac, meanwhile, I’m watching this happen in the galley from the galley. I google the guy’s name and of course, he has a history. The gate agent I find out later had a problem with him at the originating airport too but never bothered to inform us about him. The company sent me a $25 gift card for dealing with all of that.

The High-Stakes Game

My dad works for a large airline, he once told me this story.

After a flight, he was inspecting the engines and 2 exotic birds were clogging 2 out of the 4 engines in the plane, now obviously the pilots most likely knew about this and all commercial planes can fly with just one Engine, but still, going on a 10+ hour flight with 2 engines out was irresponsible according to my dad.

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Taking Flight And Taking Risks

My dad and I are both commercial pilots. He was flying a skydiving plane on a really windy day, I was flying a coastal lifeguard patrol in the same area. His passengers jumped out at the normal height and I heard him request a descent with ATC. I’m flying down the coast, near the coastal strip that he was meant to land at to refuel before flying back to home base.

ATC try to get in contact with him to ask if he had descended yet, I’m listening laughing to myself because I thought my dad had just changed frequencies by accident, I was mentally prepping the burns I was going to give him. Then I get a call on my radio on the coastal strip broadcast frequency (pretty much an advisory frequency for the country strip, because there’s no control tower) letting me (and other traffic) know that there was a crash at the airport and to avoid the area.

Suddenly it dawns on me that Dad hasn’t responded to the traffic controller, and he was meant to have landed about now. I jump on the radio, asking anyone if it was a skydiving plane. They aren’t sure. The passengers in the back have no clue what’s happening, the wind is getting worse and the turbulence is throwing us around. We turn around, and I call the airport and ask for the rego of the plane, they can’t give it to me. At this point Im freaking out, calling Dad using my Bluetooth headset, he’s not picking up. I call Mum and ask if she’d heard from him, and she hasn’t, I told her I’ll call her back. She starts freaking out before I hang up.

I call the airport again and beg them, like full pleading. They tell me the rego and a cold shiver runs up my spine as I realize it was his plane. He’s rushed to hospital but they can’t tell me any more.

We rush back to home base, land, get out and I scream home in my car. We call the police to get some details and they tell us the hospital and that he is stable. We get there and it turns out his plane flipped mid-landing because of a sudden change in the wind. He broke some ribs, tore his shoulder and bruised his neck but ultimately he came out ok and still flies today.

From BBQ to Panic

I was flying two of my friends back from some tasty BBQ in Georgia a few years back. As we got closer to home, the weather really started to get worse, with a lot of pop-up storm cells. It was a perfect situation for my iPad (used for navigation charts) to totally die as well as my onboard weather radar. I was internally panicking, and air traffic control was my saving grace and helped me get home safely. A few months later my friends asked this same question, they said I looked so calm so they figured it was no big deal!

Lasting Memories

Flight attendant here! Once on a flight over the Pacific Ocean, I had a death in flight. An older gentleman and his wife (I guessed in their 70s) were the last to board the aircraft- they had to be wheeled to their seats onboard by the wheelchair porters. In hindsight, we probably should’ve known something was fishy when the gentleman had to be shaken awake by the porters once he got to his seat but at the time he just appeared to be drowsy and napping. But anyway, we took off and went about the flight as usual.

About halfway into the flight one of the other flight attendants came up and told me that he thinks he heard a passenger collapse in the lavatory and that he needed help getting the door open and that whoever was inside was not responding to them. So we go to the back and pop the lav door off its hinges and lo and behold guess who falls out, it’s the older gentleman and he’s unresponsive. We rolled him onto his back and he was barely breathing so I told the other flight attendant to stay with the passenger and page for any medical professionals on board while I went to grab emergency medical equipment but the whole time we were trying to coordinate that his wife is yelling at us that he’s fine and to just return him to his seat.

He was not fine.

By the time I grabbed our emergency AED and medical kits and O2 tanks and made it back to the passenger, there were three nurses who had already started CPR on the fella and as a messy surprise once they unbuttoned his shirt they found that he had one of those I think they’re called colostomy bags?- the poop bags that attach to your guts- And so they were trying to do CPR around that.

Sadly the gentleman ended up expiring and after receiving clearance from a doctor on the ground over our satellite phone the nurses stopped CPR after about an hour. What was left was the corpse of a relatively tall Caucasian male in our gallery whose feet blocked off one of the aisles and who was also covered in oozy sh*t due to his poop bag breaking during CPR. We tried our best to cover him with blankets and kept other people out of the area.

His wife was of course terribly upset and she went from uncontrollable wailing to silence and at one point I heard her giggling a little under her breath- probably shock poor thing. I got some medical details about the gentleman from her and we found out that he had a stroke about two weeks prior and also had lung cancer and got out of hospice care to try to make one final vacation together and that the morning of the flight they made the decision to double both his painkillers and anti-anxiety meds in preparation to fly.

Dad’s Air Force Joyride

As a kid (8-9) I flew in a small plane with my Air Force dad and his friend. We lived in Minot ND (big base there) and were flying sometime in winter. Later I learned we had such a long joy flight that day because the landing gear froze up, and we were flying around trying to get them to come down. As we were almost out of fuel they were planning to crash land on the Frozen River. When in the nick of time the landing gear unfroze and deployed. I had no idea though. It was beautiful flying above a winter wonderland.

Buzzing Through The Air

My wife was a flight crew for a major US airline. They were flying from Atlanta to Amsterdam. Their aircraft had just arrived from Mumbai and it was no exaggeration infested/filled with mosquitoes. Don’t ask how because I don’t know but they were EVERYWHERE. Worse yet the airline requires flight crew to take a drug called Malarone when flying to Mumbai due to the risk of contracting Malaria. Since this was an Amsterdam flight none of the flight crew was on the drug despite the mosquitos very possibly originating from Mumbai.

They opened the doors to try to clear most of the insects before passengers boarded. They also called crew scheduling to try to get the flight cancelled or the aircraft switched out. Their request was denied and the flight carried on normally with the flight crew being furious. My wife also contacted the CDC who requested more information. Apparently, the airline intervened and advised she wasn’t allowed to file a report. This was years ago and wife never got sick despite her and several crew getting bitten. The odds of contracting anything are probably infinitesimally low but still, it was the principle.

A Flight To Remember

While I was still a private pilot, I had flown my GF down to Venice Fl for dinner at a place called Sharkies on the Pier and a night on the beach. The dinner was great as always and we headed down to the sand and surf to do a little swimming before heading back to the airport. The sun had gone down but the sky was becoming a little ominous, a dark cloud to the east with some lighting but nothing too concerning as the winds were (at the time) from the West. We headed out and I gave the flight watch a call to get a briefing while walking back to the airfield. The first big red flag that I should have never gotten back to the Skyhawk that night came when the briefer opened up by saying VFR flight strongly not recommended.

So we take off and right off the bat, I know I’ve screwed up. The weather from the gulf had closed in much faster than had been projected and the stuff from the east was still on the move. We now had thunderstorm cells to the east-west and a few popping up to the north as the systems were colliding. The winds were initially smooth but gave us one heck of a tailwind. Crunching the numbers quickly after realizing I wanted the heck out of this sucker hole as fast as possible, I noted that if we could continue north without deviating we could dodge the worst part and then turn right(East) toward Lakeland, my home airport. I was on the radio with Tampa the whole time because if I was going to get tossed around and ultimately thrown back to earth I wanted d*mned sure that the rescue crews would at least be looking in the right direction based on our nav track from Tampa Approach.

The plane was at about a 30-degree bank to the left and a pitch level and 2500 when we got sideswiped by an incredibly strong downdraft. Suddenly we were losing altitude at about a rate of 2 grand or more a minute and the whole plane is getting tossed around like a beer can in a garbage truck. Violent jarring that I was terrified was ripping the wings off. The GF has a death grip on her seat, and I’m so glued to the instruments that I have no other time or energy to waste on anything except flying and trying not to suck the seat cushion up my a** from the extreme pucker factor. We’re in the clear but still losing altitude, I’ve got the throttle firewalled but in the span of a couple of seconds we’ve dropped from 2500 feet to about a nine hundred. The plane gets clear of the downdraft and we level off. I immediately tell approach that we’re changing our destination to Sarasota, my GF’s beauty sleep be d*mned, one side swipe is enough for this evening. I make one of the most textbook-perfect landings at Sarasota (the wheels just rolled on, no squeak, no bounce, just greased on smooth) We spent four hours at the FBO waiting for the weather to clear out. By that point, the radar looked like a Picasso painting, with cells in every direction but South. If we had carried on we would have flown right into one of the strongest thunderstorms that season. It was my absolute solid Never Again moment in my flying career.

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Surviving A Spin

The scariest situation I’ve been in? I was teaching a student how to get out of a stall. Normally if you go into a stall you try to keep the wings level, drop the nose, and increase power. Also, keep the plane coordinated. If you do not get out or fail to do the above you can go into a spin. Spins are not a big deal on training aircraft but instructors/students have died from them. Usually, it’s in the form of the student freaking out and white-knuckling the controls. I’ve always daydreamed about punching a student in the face in the said situation but I never thought it would happen. So this student is going into a stall but as soon as it stalls he freaks the f*ck out. The plane does make some pretty abrupt movements in a stall so most students get nervous their first few times. This student decided to white-knuckle the controls, increase the power, and kick the rudder/ailerons in the direction of the bank. you’d think this guy was doing aerobatics he was so good at spinning the b*tch. So I’m screaming “Get off the controls!” etc. to no avail. He’s just kinda screaming “O SH*T O SH*T”. My brain goes into survival mode and I whip my arm across into his chest and keep yelling. Finally, he drops the controls and the plane more or less gets out of the spin itself. I explain what the f*ck he was doing wrong and we try it again. Same results lol. I think I gave it one more try before I was like “F*ck it, let’s go home…we need to talk”. Flash forward to today and the guy is a good pilot and still adding ratings. For whatever reason people think planes are fragile pieces of metal, so it takes some time for them to realize they are very sturdy and can take quite a lot of stress.

Brake, Brake, Go Away

I was asked this question by a passenger while I was experiencing a problem with the rudder/brake pedals in the plane I was flying. He basically asked what was the most urgent situation was I had encountered while in flight. Little did he know that it was happening in real-time at that moment.

I called the tower of my destination airport to report my position and request a landing. As I’m going through my checklist I positioned my feet on the rudder pedals to have the authority of the toe brakes to slow the aircraft after landing. As I moved my foot on the right pedal it sort of flopped forward.

I narrated the problem to my passenger as I “acted out” the physical inspection to try to solve the problem. I reached down with my hand and flipped the pedal back up so that it was at least in the right position. Apparently, the linkage for the right brake had become disconnected. I knew that if I put the plane on the numbers I had almost 5000 feet to roll out and clear the runway for the next aircraft.

I made an uneventful landing and just rolled and rolled with a light left brake and some counter-steering to keep the plane under control while it naturally slowed. The controller asked me to expedite clearing the runway and I replied that I would but I still rolled until I could just steer naturally off the runway.

The passenger had no idea that I was encountering my first significant mechanical failure. I was just over 100 hours of flight time and working at a flight school as a dispatcher and front office person on Sundays. My passenger was someone that one of our clients had dropped off at another airport and was unable to pick him up. I told the guy I’d come to get him after my shift if he’d cover half the rate of the plane of my choice. I was extremely familiar with the aircraft I chose but a cotter key failed and allowed the brake linkage to disconnect.

Everyone lived.

When Turbulence Gets Real

I was a flight attendant for regional airlines and worked onboard Embraer 145s. For those of you unfamiliar they’re fairly small and cramped. My jumpseat was against the wall separating the flight deck so I could often hear things happening in there, most commonly audible warnings from the plane. I eventually learned to not be too concerned when I hear things like GLIDESLOPE GLIDESLOPE! and WIND SHEER.

So one night it’s pretty late and we’re flying from Denver to Durango. It’s usually a bit turbulent because of the mountains and wasn’t uncommon for us to be warned ahead of time. This time I had been told to get up under no circumstances, strap in and enjoy the ride. 15 minutes into the flight its pitch black because I have the lights off, it’s so turbulent I’m convinced we are going to bounce into a mountain and I start hearing alerts from the flight deck. At one point there was a rapid series of dings and then it felt like we were sideways and dropped 1000 feet. People were screaming and crying and honestly, that is the only moment of my career where I thought “This is how I die”.

We eventually land safely and everyone is shaken, including the pilots. Turns out we were getting bounced around so much it had kicked the autopilot off and it wouldn’t reengage. It also knocked the APU around enough that it was f*cked and had to be replaced. We spent an hour at the airport logging all of the maintenance issues.

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A Note of Comfort

My mom was working and it was service time (pushing the cart, handing out drinks, maybe food) when she came upon an old couple. The woman was awake with a look of absolute shock and sadness on her face. The man next to her, her husband, appeared to be sleeping. My mom said that neither one of them said a word, just exchanging knowing glances. My mom gave her water and a note that said, “We’re in the back if you need anything.” and moved to the next row. Once they landed and everyone deplaned, the woman broke down and they got EMS in to take his body out.

A Flight Attendant’s Nightmare

During boarding I had a guest complain to me that her family of 4 was not seated together. This happens very often, especially when families book tickets separately. No stress, I told them to take the designated (separate) seats and after boarding was complete I would come and find them and rearrange the seating so they were together as I knew we had many spare seats available. Fast forward to boarding complete and I see the family of 4 sitting together. The son is on the aisle seat, and the Mum, Dad, and daughter are across the aisle in the row of 3 seats. I smile and say I’m glad they were able to sort out that they can all sit together at which point the Mum goes off. ‘No, I need 4 seats together- one of us can’t be across the aisle.’ Here’s the kicker though, we were on a 787 aircraft where the configuration is 3 seats/ 3 seats/ 3 seats. After much confusion, I realise Mum wanted us to magically create a row of 4 seats for her family. At this point, they are causing drama and ground staff gets called on board. They wanted us to somehow UNBOLT and MOVE a seat and create a row of 4. Don’t even get me started. Eventually, after about 25 minutes of delay, they offloaded themselves from the flight saying they couldn’t believe we would split up a family. Still the most unbelievable day in my flying career.

hannahkemsley

A Rude Awakening

I guess the thing that actually sticks out most was the French Canadian woman incident. She was asleep during the descent into YUL and had her seat reclined, so I had to wake her up and politely ask her to put her seat up because we were below 10,000 feet. She starts yelling something in French and demands my name, which I give to her. And then tells me how horrible my customer service is. I apologized profusely, but she continued to talk over me and tell me that my JOB was to serve her. I apologized again and reminded her that the safety of my passengers was my number one priority, and as per federal regulation, I needed to make sure her seat was in the upright position so that in the event of an emergency the passenger behind her could get out. She then turned her phone on to put my information in and I asked her to turn it off, which made her even more mad. She started yelling in French and then called me a piece of stupid American trash in English, and then said she was going to write the airline about how horrible I was.

I had to put a smile on my face and wish each passenger to have a great day, but as soon as the last person got off I started bawling my eyes out.

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The Miracle In The Air

My aunt has been a FA for 35 years. She works on a flight from a country in South America to Miami. An hour in, a 16yo is screaming from abdominal pain. They call for a doctor to help, and a general practitioner comes forward. Ten minutes later, the doctor is asking them to clear out the first class section so he can deal with her having a miscarriage. My aunt makes a more specific call for help, and an ObGyn comes forth and takes over. The girl doesn’t quite miscarry – she delivers a baby, around 22 weeks old. Even the doctors hardly know what to do, so my aunt once again turns to the passengers. Up come two neo-natal ICU nurses. They keep the infant alive for several hours until the plane lands in San Juan, where the full medical team, the mother, and the baby de-plane, and the flight continues to Miami. Sadly, my aunt learned that the baby lived only two days, but she still feels blessed to have been able to give the baby every chance to make it, thanks to the incredible array of passengers on board that day.