In-Flight Insanity: Insider Stories From Pilots And Flight Attendants

Buzzing Through The Air

My wife was a flight crew for a major US airline. They were flying from Atlanta to Amsterdam. Their aircraft had just arrived from Mumbai and it was no exaggeration infested/filled with mosquitoes. Don’t ask how because I don’t know but they were EVERYWHERE. Worse yet the airline requires flight crew to take a drug called Malarone when flying to Mumbai due to the risk of contracting Malaria. Since this was an Amsterdam flight none of the flight crew was on the drug despite the mosquitos very possibly originating from Mumbai.

They opened the doors to try to clear most of the insects before passengers boarded. They also called crew scheduling to try to get the flight cancelled or the aircraft switched out. Their request was denied and the flight carried on normally with the flight crew being furious. My wife also contacted the CDC who requested more information. Apparently, the airline intervened and advised she wasn’t allowed to file a report. This was years ago and wife never got sick despite her and several crew getting bitten. The odds of contracting anything are probably infinitesimally low but still, it was the principle.

A Flight To Remember

While I was still a private pilot, I had flown my GF down to Venice Fl for dinner at a place called Sharkies on the Pier and a night on the beach. The dinner was great as always and we headed down to the sand and surf to do a little swimming before heading back to the airport. The sun had gone down but the sky was becoming a little ominous, a dark cloud to the east with some lighting but nothing too concerning as the winds were (at the time) from the West. We headed out and I gave the flight watch a call to get a briefing while walking back to the airfield. The first big red flag that I should have never gotten back to the Skyhawk that night came when the briefer opened up by saying VFR flight strongly not recommended.

So we take off and right off the bat, I know I’ve screwed up. The weather from the gulf had closed in much faster than had been projected and the stuff from the east was still on the move. We now had thunderstorm cells to the east-west and a few popping up to the north as the systems were colliding. The winds were initially smooth but gave us one heck of a tailwind. Crunching the numbers quickly after realizing I wanted the heck out of this sucker hole as fast as possible, I noted that if we could continue north without deviating we could dodge the worst part and then turn right(East) toward Lakeland, my home airport. I was on the radio with Tampa the whole time because if I was going to get tossed around and ultimately thrown back to earth I wanted d*mned sure that the rescue crews would at least be looking in the right direction based on our nav track from Tampa Approach.

The plane was at about a 30-degree bank to the left and a pitch level and 2500 when we got sideswiped by an incredibly strong downdraft. Suddenly we were losing altitude at about a rate of 2 grand or more a minute and the whole plane is getting tossed around like a beer can in a garbage truck. Violent jarring that I was terrified was ripping the wings off. The GF has a death grip on her seat, and I’m so glued to the instruments that I have no other time or energy to waste on anything except flying and trying not to suck the seat cushion up my a** from the extreme pucker factor. We’re in the clear but still losing altitude, I’ve got the throttle firewalled but in the span of a couple of seconds we’ve dropped from 2500 feet to about a nine hundred. The plane gets clear of the downdraft and we level off. I immediately tell approach that we’re changing our destination to Sarasota, my GF’s beauty sleep be d*mned, one side swipe is enough for this evening. I make one of the most textbook-perfect landings at Sarasota (the wheels just rolled on, no squeak, no bounce, just greased on smooth) We spent four hours at the FBO waiting for the weather to clear out. By that point, the radar looked like a Picasso painting, with cells in every direction but South. If we had carried on we would have flown right into one of the strongest thunderstorms that season. It was my absolute solid Never Again moment in my flying career.

reddituser

Surviving A Spin

The scariest situation I’ve been in? I was teaching a student how to get out of a stall. Normally if you go into a stall you try to keep the wings level, drop the nose, and increase power. Also, keep the plane coordinated. If you do not get out or fail to do the above you can go into a spin. Spins are not a big deal on training aircraft but instructors/students have died from them. Usually, it’s in the form of the student freaking out and white-knuckling the controls. I’ve always daydreamed about punching a student in the face in the said situation but I never thought it would happen. So this student is going into a stall but as soon as it stalls he freaks the f*ck out. The plane does make some pretty abrupt movements in a stall so most students get nervous their first few times. This student decided to white-knuckle the controls, increase the power, and kick the rudder/ailerons in the direction of the bank. you’d think this guy was doing aerobatics he was so good at spinning the b*tch. So I’m screaming “Get off the controls!” etc. to no avail. He’s just kinda screaming “O SH*T O SH*T”. My brain goes into survival mode and I whip my arm across into his chest and keep yelling. Finally, he drops the controls and the plane more or less gets out of the spin itself. I explain what the f*ck he was doing wrong and we try it again. Same results lol. I think I gave it one more try before I was like “F*ck it, let’s go home…we need to talk”. Flash forward to today and the guy is a good pilot and still adding ratings. For whatever reason people think planes are fragile pieces of metal, so it takes some time for them to realize they are very sturdy and can take quite a lot of stress.

Brake, Brake, Go Away

I was asked this question by a passenger while I was experiencing a problem with the rudder/brake pedals in the plane I was flying. He basically asked what was the most urgent situation was I had encountered while in flight. Little did he know that it was happening in real-time at that moment.

I called the tower of my destination airport to report my position and request a landing. As I’m going through my checklist I positioned my feet on the rudder pedals to have the authority of the toe brakes to slow the aircraft after landing. As I moved my foot on the right pedal it sort of flopped forward.

I narrated the problem to my passenger as I “acted out” the physical inspection to try to solve the problem. I reached down with my hand and flipped the pedal back up so that it was at least in the right position. Apparently, the linkage for the right brake had become disconnected. I knew that if I put the plane on the numbers I had almost 5000 feet to roll out and clear the runway for the next aircraft.

I made an uneventful landing and just rolled and rolled with a light left brake and some counter-steering to keep the plane under control while it naturally slowed. The controller asked me to expedite clearing the runway and I replied that I would but I still rolled until I could just steer naturally off the runway.

The passenger had no idea that I was encountering my first significant mechanical failure. I was just over 100 hours of flight time and working at a flight school as a dispatcher and front office person on Sundays. My passenger was someone that one of our clients had dropped off at another airport and was unable to pick him up. I told the guy I’d come to get him after my shift if he’d cover half the rate of the plane of my choice. I was extremely familiar with the aircraft I chose but a cotter key failed and allowed the brake linkage to disconnect.

Everyone lived.

When Turbulence Gets Real

I was a flight attendant for regional airlines and worked onboard Embraer 145s. For those of you unfamiliar they’re fairly small and cramped. My jumpseat was against the wall separating the flight deck so I could often hear things happening in there, most commonly audible warnings from the plane. I eventually learned to not be too concerned when I hear things like GLIDESLOPE GLIDESLOPE! and WIND SHEER.

So one night it’s pretty late and we’re flying from Denver to Durango. It’s usually a bit turbulent because of the mountains and wasn’t uncommon for us to be warned ahead of time. This time I had been told to get up under no circumstances, strap in and enjoy the ride. 15 minutes into the flight its pitch black because I have the lights off, it’s so turbulent I’m convinced we are going to bounce into a mountain and I start hearing alerts from the flight deck. At one point there was a rapid series of dings and then it felt like we were sideways and dropped 1000 feet. People were screaming and crying and honestly, that is the only moment of my career where I thought “This is how I die”.

We eventually land safely and everyone is shaken, including the pilots. Turns out we were getting bounced around so much it had kicked the autopilot off and it wouldn’t reengage. It also knocked the APU around enough that it was f*cked and had to be replaced. We spent an hour at the airport logging all of the maintenance issues.

reddituser

A Note of Comfort

My mom was working and it was service time (pushing the cart, handing out drinks, maybe food) when she came upon an old couple. The woman was awake with a look of absolute shock and sadness on her face. The man next to her, her husband, appeared to be sleeping. My mom said that neither one of them said a word, just exchanging knowing glances. My mom gave her water and a note that said, “We’re in the back if you need anything.” and moved to the next row. Once they landed and everyone deplaned, the woman broke down and they got EMS in to take his body out.

A Flight Attendant’s Nightmare

During boarding I had a guest complain to me that her family of 4 was not seated together. This happens very often, especially when families book tickets separately. No stress, I told them to take the designated (separate) seats and after boarding was complete I would come and find them and rearrange the seating so they were together as I knew we had many spare seats available. Fast forward to boarding complete and I see the family of 4 sitting together. The son is on the aisle seat, and the Mum, Dad, and daughter are across the aisle in the row of 3 seats. I smile and say I’m glad they were able to sort out that they can all sit together at which point the Mum goes off. ‘No, I need 4 seats together- one of us can’t be across the aisle.’ Here’s the kicker though, we were on a 787 aircraft where the configuration is 3 seats/ 3 seats/ 3 seats. After much confusion, I realise Mum wanted us to magically create a row of 4 seats for her family. At this point, they are causing drama and ground staff gets called on board. They wanted us to somehow UNBOLT and MOVE a seat and create a row of 4. Don’t even get me started. Eventually, after about 25 minutes of delay, they offloaded themselves from the flight saying they couldn’t believe we would split up a family. Still the most unbelievable day in my flying career.

hannahkemsley

A Rude Awakening

I guess the thing that actually sticks out most was the French Canadian woman incident. She was asleep during the descent into YUL and had her seat reclined, so I had to wake her up and politely ask her to put her seat up because we were below 10,000 feet. She starts yelling something in French and demands my name, which I give to her. And then tells me how horrible my customer service is. I apologized profusely, but she continued to talk over me and tell me that my JOB was to serve her. I apologized again and reminded her that the safety of my passengers was my number one priority, and as per federal regulation, I needed to make sure her seat was in the upright position so that in the event of an emergency the passenger behind her could get out. She then turned her phone on to put my information in and I asked her to turn it off, which made her even more mad. She started yelling in French and then called me a piece of stupid American trash in English, and then said she was going to write the airline about how horrible I was.

I had to put a smile on my face and wish each passenger to have a great day, but as soon as the last person got off I started bawling my eyes out.

reddituser

The Miracle In The Air

My aunt has been a FA for 35 years. She works on a flight from a country in South America to Miami. An hour in, a 16yo is screaming from abdominal pain. They call for a doctor to help, and a general practitioner comes forward. Ten minutes later, the doctor is asking them to clear out the first class section so he can deal with her having a miscarriage. My aunt makes a more specific call for help, and an ObGyn comes forth and takes over. The girl doesn’t quite miscarry – she delivers a baby, around 22 weeks old. Even the doctors hardly know what to do, so my aunt once again turns to the passengers. Up come two neo-natal ICU nurses. They keep the infant alive for several hours until the plane lands in San Juan, where the full medical team, the mother, and the baby de-plane, and the flight continues to Miami. Sadly, my aunt learned that the baby lived only two days, but she still feels blessed to have been able to give the baby every chance to make it, thanks to the incredible array of passengers on board that day.