Getting Even: The Petty Revenge Stories You Need to Hear

CR Staff - April 21, 2023

39. Singing My Way to Silence

I was at the gym today, minding my own business with my AirPods in, music up loud, so I could drown out the sound of the television which they keep very loud. My gym is very tiny, the cardio room has 8 machines in it. The older guy on the machine next to me was on the phone talking louder than the television, so I could hear him even with my music playing. I was trying to be nice thinking maybe he had an emergency or something, but after about 15 minutes, I was really annoyed. Other people even started leaving because it was so obnoxious. So, completely out of character for me, I started singing at the top of my lungs, purposely out of key. The song on my playlist at that moment was “She Wants to Move” by NERD. I think the guy got the point as he hung up shortly after I started “singing”. Don’t mess with an introvert.

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40. Spicing Up Their Pizza

Years ago when I was 17, my loser boyfriend, sisters and their boyfriends were hanging out at our house on a hot summer evening.

My mom and dad were out of town so we were hungry and called up Pizza Hut for a couple of big pizzas which had to be picked up because there wasn’t delivery back in the day. Pizza Hut was about 6 miles, through major tourist traffic, and not one of those a**h*l*s would come with me to pick it up. And, they were mean about it to my face. They stayed home while I drove through insane traffic for their stupid dinner.

So. I got the pizza, sat down and ate two pieces, doused the rest in parmesan and crushed red peppers and drove home and delivered their now uncomfortably spicy pizza. Them yelling at me was pretty funny.

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