Alone and Unhappy
My happiness is entirely dependent on my social interactions. Whenever I’m alone I feel like the dumbest sh*t out there and can’t even go off my bed. I live in a dirty mess because I can’t even wash my room or even myself or my teeth. But when I’m around people I like, It all goes away, and on the opposite side. I’m overconfident and feel like I’m a hot, confident genius. I feel like I matter to them, and project friendship unto acquaintances. I’m really happy whenever I’m around those people, or around one of my three real friends. I may be too happy, I never did drugs but I think what I feel is that “rush” addicts talk about. As soon as they’re gone or do anything that breaks the illusion of being friends, I feel like crap once again.