The Dark Thoughts
I regret having a kid. My son is a really awesome kid, but I feel like a terrible mother. I have constant anxiety. I feel like I’m constantly angry. I’m constantly stressed. I feel like I have to be perfect for my son all of the time. I constantly feel guilty for everything. On top of that, I hate making dinner every night and trying to give my kid healthy variety. I’m lucky he isn’t a picky eater. I hate that I have to ask him a question 4 or 5 times before he will answer it (he is 2 almost 3). I miss my free time. I miss being able to go out and do things without having to pack a huge bag of crap to keep my kid entertained. In the past few months, I have started to think my kid would be better off without me. That I should pack a bag and disappear. At least then he wouldn’t grow up with a mother who is angry and yells all the time. But I won’t leave. I love my kid and I live for those moments when he is just so sweet or makes me laugh that I can’t imagine leaving him.