Breaking Free from the Vault of Secrecy: Anonymous Confessions

The Dark Thoughts

I regret having a kid. My son is a really awesome kid, but I feel like a terrible mother. I have constant anxiety. I feel like I’m constantly angry. I’m constantly stressed. I feel like I have to be perfect for my son all of the time. I constantly feel guilty for everything. On top of that, I hate making dinner every night and trying to give my kid healthy variety. I’m lucky he isn’t a picky eater. I hate that I have to ask him a question 4 or 5 times before he will answer it (he is 2 almost 3). I miss my free time. I miss being able to go out and do things without having to pack a huge bag of crap to keep my kid entertained. In the past few months, I have started to think my kid would be better off without me. That I should pack a bag and disappear. At least then he wouldn’t grow up with a mother who is angry and yells all the time. But I won’t leave. I love my kid and I live for those moments when he is just so sweet or makes me laugh that I can’t imagine leaving him.

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Alone and Unhappy

My happiness is entirely dependent on my social interactions. Whenever I’m alone I feel like the dumbest sh*t out there and can’t even go off my bed. I live in a dirty mess because I can’t even wash my room or even myself or my teeth. But when I’m around people I like, It all goes away, and on the opposite side. I’m overconfident and feel like I’m a hot, confident genius. I feel like I matter to them, and project friendship unto acquaintances. I’m really happy whenever I’m around those people, or around one of my three real friends. I may be too happy, I never did drugs but I think what I feel is that “rush” addicts talk about. As soon as they’re gone or do anything that breaks the illusion of being friends, I feel like crap once again.

Falling Out Of Love

That I don’t love my wife at all. I love her as the mother of my kids but I have grown so tired of her ignorance, anxieties, fears, and overall controlling nature, as well as general disregard for the fact that I too exist for more things than to provide for her the lifestyle she wants. But mostly because the one time in my life I asked her to step up and help, she told me she’d rather divorce me than do it.

So I fell out of love with her at that exact moment. It was over 3 years ago.

She doesn’t know that if I get this new job I’m working for, I will have the financial resources to end our marriage and we can both be happy because I’m so detached that she’s not happy either. We both deserve happiness, we just can’t give it to each other.

The Blessing Box Boomerang

Where I live, there is a place called the “Blessing Box“. It’s a cabinet where people can drop off canned and dry goods to help feed other families. My wife and I hit some hard times financially and had to rely on the Blessing Box to feed ourselves. Made a promise to myself that if I ever came into some extra cash, I would return the blessing.

Later on, I scored a well-paying temp job and was able to catch up on a lot of bills right before Thanksgiving. Remembering the promise I made, I used my next paycheck to fill the Blessing Box to the brim with a variety of canned goods. Everything a family would need for the holiday. A few days later, the Blessing Box was featured on the local news and how an unknown donor provided enough food to feed over a dozen low-income families for the holiday. My wife and I have never told a soul that it was us.

When You Just Know

I met this guy about 6 years ago through a friend. We all hung out twice a few months apart. After the second time, I drove the 4 hours back to my town and had lunch with a friend. Friend asked how my trip was and I told him about this guy and that I’m pretty sure I’m going to marry him. Not in a creepy stalker way like “I’m going to make this happen” but like in an “I don’t know why, I can just tell” way.

Two years later that guy and I moved to the same town (separately/coincidence – I moved and he moved a few months later). He’s now my fiancé and I still haven’t told him, or anyone else in the world, about that conversation I had at lunch 6 years ago.

Banking on Surprise

I have a secret bank account that my husband doesn’t know about and a small percentage of my paycheck goes into it every time I get paid. My husband stresses about debts and feels like we don’t do enough to save/pay off said debts. I hope I can keep it a secret for a few years so that on his birthday or for Christmas, I can just make the financial stuff he worries about disappear. Maybe by then, we’ll have it taken care of already, but we can have a nice vacation and get a head start on retirement funds instead. My husband grew up poor and has a lot of anxiety around money – it would be nice to be able to give him that “I’ve just won the lottery” feeling, even on a smaller scale.

From a Cage to a Home

I stole a black cat from one of the sh*thead neighbors in my old neighborhood. They had the momma cat get pregnant and then kept all the kittens outside in a cage. Now it gets really hot where I live, so having black fur and a small 4’x4′ enclosure with barely any water and dry ass food with bugs all over it isn’t gonna keep you alive. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to take the rest of the kittens since they had passed away. $2200 in vet bills later and now I have a very loving cat to keep me company.

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